Day 25: Megan Thee Stallion – Something For Thee Hotties

Album cover courtesy of 300 Entertainment and 1501 Certified Entertainment

I am a shameless simp for Megan Thee Stallion. And how could I not be? Have you heard her music? Have you seen her? I can’t physically stop myself from simping, and why would I ever want to. She’s also my north star of fitness, I use her to motivate myself to get my ass up and go work out. If I’m feeling lazy, I take one look at her thighs and I’m out the door in less than a minute.

In addition to having the most aspirational body in the world, she also makes the perfect workout music, which is sometimes great and sometimes scary. When I first discovered the Megan Thee Stallion Workout Playlist by Spotify user monagoggins, I couldn’t straighten my arms for a week. That’s the energy I needed today, as I was feeling like I’m one with the sofa. I wanted to listen to something to both get me on that step machine and keep me on it, naturally that was thee Stallion.

Something For Thee Hotties is Megan Thee Stallion’s 2021 mixtape that she released for her fans, nicknamed the Hotties. It’s a compilation of some of her old freestyles from her YouTube videos, as well as various songs from Thee Archives. It’s exactly what I need for working out: high-energy tracks, great beats and Meghan saying some absolute filth.

It’s bonkers to think that songs like “Kitty Kat”, “Megan’s Piano” and “Eat It” are just her random unreleased b-sides. The quality of the songs for a mixtape like this is very good. The freestyles are also great, as is to be expected since she made a name for herself with freestyling videos online. It maybe gets dragged down a bit by the skits, but to be fair, I’m rarely a fan. It’s not as polished as a proper album, but that’s not what it’s going for either.

I fell in love with Megan when she was a bit of an underdog. I don’t even know how she survived what happened to her a few years back. Let me explain in plebeian career terms: imagine you’re an up-and-coming chef and you get shot by the line cook at the restaurant, then suddenly Gordon Ramsay and the Mayor of Flavortown start tweeting “Justice for line cook! Free line cook, he’s my favourite chef!” even though the idiot line cook shot a woman unprovoked and also isn’t even particularly good at cooking.

Megan Thee Stallion was an up-and-coming rapper and she had industry giants like 50 Cent, Meek Mill and Drake very publicly slamming her and supporting a man who shot her. The fact that she pushed through that and went from being an underdog to being one of the biggest female rappers alive, even after the industry turned against her, is exceptional. If she can do that, I can go a little longer on the step machine.

7.5/10. Almost passed out, had a good time doing it.