Day 264: Poison – Open Up and Say... Ahh!

I do not want the thinking man’s music today. I’ve got a hankering for something that feels like about 30-40 minutes of popping my brain on a shelf somewhere, ready to be picked up after I’m done. I could go for some sort of a concept album of musical escapism, or I could go the other direction. Reader, today that direction is Bret Michaels.

Album cover courtesy of Enigma Records

Like many ladies my age, I watched the televised masterpiece of a show called Rock of Love with Bret Michaels when I was growing up, where a group of young ladies complete tasks and missions to vie for the love of ‘80s glam rock star and Poison frontman, Bret Michaels. I never really got it, probably because I’ve never really listened to Poison or seen the man at his peak, so today I thought I’d go for their biggest release, Open Up and Say... Ahh!.

Poison are a classic pop-infused hair metal band who were big in the ‘80s and the ‘90s. During their career, they’ve sold more than 65 million albums and DVDs. Their second album Open Up and Say… Ahh! was released in 1988 and it contains some of their biggest hits, like “Fallen Angels”, “Nothin' But a Good Time” and “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”

From the first minute, the album is exactly as I expected: it’s classic hair metal tunes about having a good time and enjoying the ladies, or occasionally having a bad time and not enjoying the ladies. It’s not really lyrically the most elaborate work, but I’d say it probably still did what it was supposed to, which I assume is facilitating a nice time before, during or after visiting a strip club.

A turning point of the album is the modern classic, “Every Rose Has Its Throrn”, which Bret Michaels apparently wrote in a laundromat while on tour when he called his girlfriend and heard another man’s voice in the background. The rest of the album has a degree of speed and panache that hides a lot of their shortcomings, both in the band and Bret Michaels’ singing, which this slow jam is unfortunately lacking. But there’s an earnestness to it that still does win you over.

It’s one of those albums where it’s just not necessarily very good, there’s not that much substance to it, but you can tell that good times were had with this in the background back in the day. It’s not for me, it’s not for 2026, it’s a 6/10.